A long and crazy week

I am so glad this week is over. It’s been tiring and exhausting. Thursday our pool party was actually cancelled due to weather so that was a nice break from what was otherwise a go, go, go, week.  We tried a new viola teacher on Wednesday and Row really seemed to like her. I hope it works and she brings more fun to rowan’s lessons because she’s hitting that wall where she’d like to quit. She enjoys the music but isn’t seeing the fun anymore – We saw this with her horse riding lessons as well though. She hated her previous trainer, got no enjoyment out of riding and was getting ready to quit (I think) when she started riding with her current trainer (who is awesome!) and now we’ve moved barns and she has a renewed passion for riding.  I’m hoping Viola follows this trend.

Tuesday the girls started their homeschool classes. Jaia again, was super excited. She came home with actual homework and was over the moon with excitement. Crazy girl  – I really don’t know where she came from 😉

Rowan, I think, is going to love photography but hate geometry (but what teen doesn’t?)

Friday was another homeschool class with yet another group. Jaia got to see some old friends and I hope stepping up participation with this group again will renew those old friendships and bring more for her.

My husband and I are plowing through. We had a break from each other this week since he was traveling. It was good, I think, to be apart for a while.  It’s tough when we are both at home – we seem to be tiptoeing around each other because we are not sure how to proceed. I know I’m not. If I put on a happy face then he thinks I’m sweeping things under the rug and when I’m melancholy or just plain crying, he’s  actually telling me to hold it together for the girls.

Tomorrow we see a counselor for the first time. I hope she helps us. My husband is a cup half empty kind of guy – and he’s having a  hard time getting past the “what if we go to counseling and try and try and in a year it still doesn’t work out?” and I’m NOT thinking that way because if I do then I immediately start building walls so when that time comes my heart is a little bit safe.  For right now – until the moment it happens I guess   – I need to believe that all will be fine. That we will “reinvent” this marriage as two friends. That we can move forward.   I think he’s blowing this mess WAY out of proportion and really making “our problems” bigger than they really are and I’m probably perceiving they are smaller than what they are. Some somewhere between the two perceptions is where our problems lie.

We are already talking and grunging things out so I believe in my heart that we can come through on the other side stronger. But I’m a glass full type of gal.

Until next time  –

Bright Blessings

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