being a catalyst

A good year and a half ago, my relationship with my husband literally hit rock bottom. There were 2 paths to take, up, or apart. We chose up and for  some of that part, that meant working on myself to figure things out. I had hit an all time depressed low, wasn’t taking care of myself, wasn’t taking care of my relationship. I just wasn’t.

We went to counseling; I was told to put myself first; (a happy momma/wife and all that). I started going to yoga, riding (very infrequently) and all in all – TRYING  to take care of ME.

I bought NEW clothes!

Now my girls now and oftentimes shoo me out of the house to go to yoga.

It’s been a long process and some times I am really going at it and other times I am sliding right back into old molds. (I’ve really got to toss those out!)

In December, I asked, and received, a three day women’s only yoga retreat for christmas. It’s coming up in 3 weeks.

I signed up for a women’s bike summit because  I want to ride more.

I want to cultivate more friendships, create better relationships with the ones I have. I want to be more confident.

I want to create a more loving and welcoming home for my family.

I’m considering signing up Jaia for a 3 day homeschool “school” for her high school years so I can get a job.

The other day I was driving along and it literally hit me in the face. I need to change to be happy and I need to BE my own CATALYST  for change. I need to be the CATALYST for change in my relationships, friendships, spirituality. I know – it really took me this long for it to sink in. I guess I wasn’t ready.

That was on Wednesday. On Thursday, I went to yoga and one of my favorite teachers invited me to a Sacred Activism, Bhakti Share and Despacho Ceremony (prayer bundling) in a local park, Rowan wasn’t feeling well so didn’t want to go ride and told me to go!

As I was speaking to my yoga teacher,  I mentioned that I homeschool and she said that was so cool! and she needed to get to know me better. No one has ever said that to me before!

I guess my whole point here is that one simple thought process change and events immediately started happening for me – All it took was a decision to be the catalyst and to stop making things miserable for me.

So Be the Catalyst!




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